My mother said

- your brother asked me yesterday if everything was ok with you. He felt you looked a bit sad.

We were out "shopping" - which mainly was an excuse to hang out and be out of the house ourselves.

I wasn't sad. Not really. And definetely not for the reasons my mother hypothesized.
When we continued shopping I found myself becoming sadder.

- Maybe I am sad, I said to my mom.
- I don't really know why.

It dawned on me that some part of it may be not telling any of them most of the things I really think about these days.

Another part is the stress of waiting for emails*. Which is another aspect I haven't told them - well ok, my brother briefly about the fling, but not the email part.

Not really feeling like myself when I'm away is another thing.
Homesick. I guess.





* I am in the process of pursuing an email communication with a man I met a few weeks ago and who I would like to meet again. Three days from Monday to now is beginning to get to me... ;)