Roots - thoughts made as verse

4th of June 2003. Soundtrack: Lustwijns Wijsa.

When I leave
eventually
as I expect that I must
I'll steal away lots and lots of
choir notes
to sing elsewhere.
Spread the music.

What I've done
is borrow roots.
Theirs were deep and
encompassing.
Good to rest for a while
leaning my back to such trunks.

When I leave
the memory of me
is kept
at the keeper of records' place
in the middle of the forest.

I wanted to ask you
Where are your roots?
How deep and strong are they?
How did they grow?

What made you decide
This is where I belong,
Here is where I build,
This is where I'll stay.

Because MY roots are weak.
I can move, for sure, and I have,
recoiling at the thought of
going back to where
home used to be.

They are, granted,
deeper here than before
but if pressed
I know they've tested the soil
and it is loose; we can go.

If need demands it.

You see
I'd somehow like to know
that this is home
for longer than a five-year-plan.
I can't just DECIDE
can I?
Is that what people do?
or do they
stay
out of fear

What I do know
is that heartroots
never forget a soil however brief the stay.
So I carry it with me,
in my heart
the reasons for love
and the reasons to go.

Can you teach me, please,
how to stay?
Sticking to a place
for better or for worse
Give me a reason to stay?
at least one to return.

Do you know why I am restless
- Oh so restless -
Will you please halt my fear
and let me, let me see...

While most fear change
maybe I fear
stagnation
and so I flee.